Tough Love – Are You Giving or Getting It?

Tough love is an expression used when you are stern or harsh with another person _MG_7771with the intent to help them in the long run. I got a lot of tough love growing up which I needed looking back. My brother and I were tough to handle growing up, but my mom was relentless on keeping the guardrails  tight around us. I didn’t like it back then, didn’t understand it either but am super happy I had it. We need this “tough love” in our personal and business lives.

  • Did you get tough love growing up?
  • Are you getting tough love now?
  • Are you giving tough love now?

My wife helped me understand this with our children a lot and drove it home with one sentence – “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”. I made a ton of mistakes here, but am continuously working on this as we all should. Are You:

  • Giving your kids things they haven’t earned?
  • Are you setting your kids up for independence or dependence on you?
  • When appropriate – are you being your spouse’s best friend by talking about hard topics that need to be addressed or rationalizing them away?
  • Do you share your failures with peers and drive into tough situations with them?
  • Are you being honest with the people you manage?
  • Are you giving people you manage real feedback so they can be successful in the right role?
  • Here’s a big one – if you run or own a business, do you know the sellability score or value of the company so you are managing it for a successful handoff?

Tough Love opportunities are all around us. I believe we are better human beings when we are truly helping others by addressing the hard truths. If this is not your “gig” or strength, you need someone that can help you with this. Tough Love is the responsible and right way to live. In business, I have belonged to a few peer groups which I fully believe in as there is a lot of tough love there along with accountability which we all need.  I wish I would of had known about them a lot sooner.  Find a peer group, coach or an accountability person to keep on the right path – you will not regret this! What can you change to incorporate tough love in your life TODAY?

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Good Luck and Go Be Intentional about Your Life!!!